Monday, September 23, 2013

monday musings by shyloh #101

My How-To Guide on how to keep a Haflinger in perfect(ly fat) condition:

1. Provide a round bale and 18 hour turn out with large draft horses. Us Haflingers cannot regulate ourselves and feel we have to be near or eating the round bale at all times.
This dive into the round bale gets an 8.9 for form and function.
Notice the drafts giving this Haflinger time to eat all she pleases before they have their share


2. Watch as Haflinger naps near the hay to make sure no draft horse takes any more hay than is absolutely necessary. 
This Haflinger even has a watch horse watching over her and the round bale.
3. To burn calories, have a Haflinger tug-o-war with the two legger every time they want you to leave the pasture. The Haflinger will put all her might into not budging from the round bale. 
This Haflinger protests at leaving her precious hay.
4. Put a grazing muzzle on the Haflinger. This is not to prevent the Haflinger from eating as much, it is just to provide a 5-10 minute session of extra calorie burning as she works at getting it off.
Haflingers get super sad when their access to food has been restricted. Then they get angry!
See the muzzle hanging down? At least this Haflinger has the decency for once to not leave it at some random spot in the field to be searched out by a two legger..
5. Stop giving the Haflinger her night night hay, only so she can burn extra calories by stealing the hay from the every growing  Percheron baby stalled next to her. . .
Look into my eyes. . .you are getting very sleepy. . .give the Haflinger all of the hay. . .
6. Watch as the Percheron willingly shares all of his grain with the Haflinger by dropping it over on her side of the stall and onto her water bucket.
Haflingers tend to not be picky about where their food source is coming from. . .the ground, a wet water bucket, another horse's mouth. . .
7. Finally move the Haflinger to the diet pasture with the minions, much the the Haflinger's displeasure. Minions are instantly entranced by the beauty of the Haflinger and follow wherever she goes. Haflinger is highly irritated, but then decides that they can be bent to her will and uses them accordingly. The hinny is upset whenever he can't see the Haflinger and one pony is in awe of a "big" horse that looks just like him. 
This Haflinger is sharing secrets with the minions on bad behavior.
The minions are following their new leader.
The minions are excited that a "big" horse gets to hang out with them. The "big" horse is not as excited, but thrilled at the prospect of bossing minions around. 
8. Break the two leggers heart and stand at the gate where her drafts are (or is it where her round bale is?) wanting to be with them (or it).  Either way, the drafts are equally as upset that the Haflinger is in the diet pasture. 
This Haflinger looks as if she is in foal. . .with twins. I assure you, she is not. 
9. Constantly remind the two legger that none of this is helped by the fact that pony time or potential pony exercising time has been drastically reduced due to other, less important obligations such as school and work.
Exercise must be gotten in various ways. . .after a tough workout, the halter is usually awry. 
10. Continue to try and convince the two legger that the Haflinger is just preparing her body for winter. 
Winter pony!
11. Surprise the human by taking first place in halter mare class. Apparently this judge loves perfect(ly fat) Haflingers!
The extra fat makes the Haflinger's body just shine and glow!
And that is how it is done!

~Shyloh

9 comments:

  1. That first picture is hysterical! It's like she's a cartoon character that fell face first into the hay.

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  2. Love that first pic. Poor girl can tell she's just starved for food!!!

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  3. Love the dive into the round bale and the minions are just too cute. So sorry you have to be on a diet.

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  4. Love the dive into the round bale and the minions are just too cute. So sorry you have to be on a diet.

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  5. Hee Heee Heee Congrats .
    Do you think the judge listens to "Fat Bottom Girls" pn his i pod .
    Just joking Shy ...You look Maaavelous !

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  6. What a fun post! I love perfect (ly fat) Haffies!

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  7. I loved this post! :)
    Especially the first photo when her head is completely in the round bale.

    ~Mary

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