That is what I need to do. . .learn to relax.
I rode sassy Shyloh today. It had been a few weeks since I last got on her, so I had reverted back to nervousness again.
Why? I have no idea! There is no reason to be nervous on that mare. Especially when we are in a round pen. Shy has done nothing since I have started riding her again for me to be nervous on her. Yet I am. It is frustrating.
But the more times I ride in a row and the longer I stay on her, the less nervous I am. After our lesson a couple weeks ago, I so so relaxed on her and we just putzed all around the arena. Now, I just need the weather to cooperate. And school to be over (two more weeks!!). I think once I get some solid riding time in, I will get over this nervousness.
It is funny, because Shy has been so so good. She can read me so well and she knows when I am nervous. She does take care of me, doesn't do crazy things, and stops when I lose balance. But Shy also tests me by trying to go where she wants to and stopping where she wants to stop and turn which direction she wants to turn. Little things, but I have to work hard to win these little things with her. As Jaime says, shy needs to know that I can lead her so she can trust me to keep her safe, just like I need to trust her to keep me safe by not being crazy.
I am also more comfortable on Shy bareback. Strange, right? Something about being in the saddle makes riding much more "official" or something. I don't want to do anything incredibly awesome with Shy, just have fun and trail ride.
What are your tips to ease any nervousness in the saddle?
I was always really nervous on Red for the first year, I just stayed in the round pen or in a small, controlled pasture until I felt myself getting braver. If you feel confident in the round pen, use that to your advantage. :) I would take a ride in the round pen, trot around for a few minutes then go out in a pasture, make him stay at a walk and end it after a few minutes until I started realizing that he would be fine and I would be fine, haha! Riding with people is always good!
ReplyDeleteI get really nervous on Willow too, and I have no idea why! I'll happily hop on anything with hair and not bat an eye...green, broke, hot it doesn't matter. But Willow makes me hesitate!! I totally get where you are coming from!
ReplyDeleteI am the exact same way with Ypke!
ReplyDeleteI really haven't found a way to completely let go of nervousness around Ypke yet. Doing a little bit of groundwork with her before rides and riding other (as long as they are super sane) horses has helped me out quite a bit though. Maybe try having a conversation with someone as you ride Shy to help get your mind away from the nervousness?
That does work! I never ride alone and talking to someone and having them talk me through tough spots is really helpful.
DeleteI've been there too! On our last trail ride in FL, Lily bucked me off and took off running out of the park and down the street. It was a terrifying experience for what could have happened to both of us. Our move north happened immediately after. She was a nervous wreck initially on the trails up here with all the new obstacles that had been previously unknown to her (ditches, bridges, creeks, etc), so I rode her every once in a blue moon on the trails with company and only at a walk. It was even rarer that we rode alone. The majority of our rides were limited to the arena because she could be so unpredictable. During her long rehab, where I HAD to ride her 4-5 times a week, I got so so tired of the arena. I started forcing myself to take her out on the trails. *Forcing* myself. I would have a knot in my stomach from the moment I woke up to the moment I got in the saddle at the trailhead. I *dreaded* riding her. I'd do deep breathing exercises while tacking her up (horses can tell when you hold your breath. Holding breath = fear), and then I discovered that if I listened to music on my phone, I was less apt to be so terrified. I'd get involved with the music and sometimes even dance while tacking up. I started listening to music while riding too (set at a low volume so I could still hear what was going on around me), and discovered that it helped keep me relaxed. I'd get involved in the beat of the music and how it matched Lily's way of going, and focus on that instead of what could possibly set her off. If Lily acted up or I tensed up, I sang to the music: you can't hold your breath and sing at the same time. :) It forced me to breathe and since I was singing a song I liked, it automatically made me relax. (There are perks to riding alone...being able to sing out loud is one of them. Lol) And thus my mare relaxed too and she started to do all sorts of things when asked: crossing those bridges and creeks, going through those ditches without pause. Having to ride her every day and now making myself take her out on the trails every day also helped relax me in the long term: we set a new behavior pattern. The more we rode and she was fine, the more I trusted her, and the more she got to trust me. And you know the rest - this past summer when I started forcing myself to ride Lily on the trails for every.single.ride, I never imagined I'd be w/t/c on the trails just a few months later.
ReplyDeleteSo music has been the key to relaxation for me. I still like to ride to music, both in the arena and on the trails. It sets the tone and pace of the ride. Even just setting up a radio or your phone next to the round pen so you have it as background music can help. And definitely: the more you can ride with her being a good girl, the better things will get and the more relaxed you will be. It just takes time to get over old fears. It took me almost a year to get over that one incident! So hang in there. :) It will get better!
Thanks!! I will fire up the iPod. I wonder what kind of music Shy likes? :)
DeleteI am glad you are riding shy now , she seems to prefer that doesn't she.
ReplyDeleteTaking deep breaths, feeling the beautiful connection , if your really nervous sing a little as you ride ~ it all calms the nerves of you and your horse :)) ( even if you don't sing well lol)
I have heard of the singing thing, I was told to do that for driving :)
DeleteHi - I just started following your blog recently (love me some ponies!), but just figured I'd throw my two cents in since I myself can be a bit of a nervous rider.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds totally counterintuitive, but I used to have a horse that scared the crap out of me. He bucked me off a few times, and I lost my nerve. I made the conscious choice to not let my horse's bullying behavior put me off (sounds like your girl doesn't do that), but I accepted in my mind that in all likelihood I WOULD fall off again, but that it would be okay if I did. Sounds like a wonky way to work through fear, but once I had accepted that it'd likely happen, but that it would all likely wind up fine, I felt free from the fear of it. Maybe this could help you? :)
Maybe! Thanks :)
DeleteI like the music advise posted already. Perhaps some lavendar oil or some such thing? Or a glass of wine/can of beer, kind of mellow you out without knocking you out? I don't drink so can't say if it'd work or not!
ReplyDeleteMy friend did suggest taking a shot!
DeleteI have gone thru the same thing.... no reason to be nervous, but it happens. Trust comes with time and doing it over and over... and learning to be the leader. I want a t-shirt that says, "I AM the 51%" :))))) There are ups and downs, good days and grumpy days... but over all, it just gets better and better! :))))
ReplyDeleteIt does get better! I just need to be much more consistent. As soon as I graduate and the weather improves, my consistency will improve as well.
DeleteDon't feel bad for being nervous for no apparent reason other than a long break. I think that is pretty normal. I am the same way when it comes to jumping. If I take a long break from it I am always super nervous the first couple of times but then it clears up.
ReplyDeleteRepetition. Lots of time. Little by little. The more you do it the better and easier it will become and the calmer you'll become. =)
ReplyDeleteI had a tough time riding Cole in the arena--though I was fine with him on the trail. He tended to bolt in the far corner--and I would break out in a cold sweat whenever I rode there.
ReplyDeleteI would just set little goals for myself, and when I would accomplish them, I would be so happy! It made me want to keep trying.
Last fall, when I couldn't go on the trail for the first time in many months, I broke out in a sweat when I rode to that corner...
I am way more confident on my haflinger bareback too. I think part of it is that I use a bareback pad that offers a little bit of cushion, and is a fake suede, so it also helps me stick more than in a saddle. It also means that there are no stirrups for my feet to get caught in and in the event of an emergency, I can bail in a heartbeat. I still get nervous when I'm on my boy for various reasons.
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